


in the depths of our pockets lay our most cowardly secrets

by BigGucci



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:08:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29028459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigGucci/pseuds/BigGucci
Kudos: 2





	in the depths of our pockets lay our most cowardly secrets

“Do you like being in control, Louis?”, Harry said bluntly while bringing his hands onto his lap, habitually toying with his silver polished ring that lay on his middle finger. 

“What?” Louis annoyingly responded. 

“Do you like being in control?” Harry repeated. Louis lets out a defeated chuckle before removing his rather sweaty hands off of the chair’s sidearms and getting up.

“I think I should-” before Louis can finish, Harry is already two steps ahead of him, standing in front of the entry of the kitchen with a firm hand on Louis’ chest. 

“Let me answer it for you-you do,” Harry said confidently with his green, jade eyes looking down upon Louis’ bright blue ones.   
Louis’ stone cold expression on his face turns to anger with each nonsensical word Harry spews out of his mouth. 

“Addiction is a powerful thing, Louis. Giving yourself up for some dinky street drugs just to experience an addictive high? You don’t sound too in control of yourself.”

With each word that spewed out Harry’s mouth, Louis clenched his fists harder and harder, the pain of his nails digging into his palm distracting him.   
“So you changed your ways of how you handled your addiction, lying to yourself about how in control you are of yourself. Instead of surrendering by throwing a couple bucks at a no-body dealer for overpriced coke, you started to steal it for yourself.”

"How did you-" Louis shakily says before his sentence gets cut off by Harry's confident stride. 

“You think you’re smart, which you’re right, but you’re not as smart as you think you are,” Harry says coarsely, shifting closer to Louis, his green eyes narrowing in on him. “Because at the end of the day, no matter how you stole it or how little you paid for it, you’ll never be in control. The moment you toy around with the little baggy in your pocket, running your fingers back and forth on the outside as a soothing mechanism; the moment you straighten out your line with your credit card; the moment you take one whiff of that little white powder, allowing it to shoot up into your brain, is the moment you lose all control.”

And with each stupid fucking word that pours out of Harry’s mouth, Louis wants to break down with tears surging out of his eyes and allow himself to become fully open-just for Harry. But he can’t; he knows he can’t. So after he lets out his last remark, a firm “fuck you”, he leaves Harry’s apartment, slamming the door extremely loudly which causes the room to shake. He’ll go back to being exactly who he is-a stubborn addict who can’t accept anyone’s opinion except his own; he’ll go back to snorting coke that he stole in a public bathroom on his breaks from work; he’ll go back to lying to himself about how he’s totally in control of his addiction which is bullshit because no addict is ever in control of their own addiction-they’re addicts for a reason. Just like Harry said. 

Just how he likes it.


End file.
